I was going through my desk trying to find something and came across a folder of OLD funnies from the last 15(?) years of e-mail. Some of it was soooo funny that I had to post it:

Things we wish our dogs would try and remember:

1. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's undies when he's on the toilet

2. The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff

3. I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it

4. "Kitty Roca" is not a food group

5. I will not roll on dead birds, worms, etc

6. The sofa is not a face towel, neither is Mom's lap

7. I will not steal sandwiches off the counter while they are being made

8. I will not steal bowls of cereal

9. I will not eat gardening gloves and then redeposit them in the yard after processing

10. I will not sleep on the couch

11. I will not get on the bed uninvited

12. I will not eat lawn furniture, hot tub tops, hot pads, watering cans or wind chimes

13. My head does not belong in the fridge

14. I will not bark in the car

And so it goes, and so it goes, and I'm the only one who knows. . .

You get the picture.